1/11/09
wow, its november already! i can't believe it! next month is my birthday.
im still not really sure what i want to do for my birthday party, i was thinking of having
a rave party at the memorial hall or something, im not really sure, i was also thinking of
going down to melbourne with Erin or something. it could be really cool to spend a weekend
together in the city! im so excited for Peats Ridge festival.
Me and Erin have already started planning and designing our costumes!
its all so exciting. mine is going to be a fire and ice princess and hers is going to be a
wood nymph! shes going to dye heaps of doilys earthy tones and sew them together as a dress
and make wings with beads and twigs and leaves, i cannot wait to get started!
im thinking of buying some white wings and sewing beads into them, like blue icicles and
some red beads and some black paint or silver glitter, im going to have black and white
long gloves and im going to throw glitter around on the night!
i really hope that mum wins the country energy prize, and not only because that means me
and erin and my family get to go to BALI but also because shes really hoping that she will
win and it means that she will get a lot of publicity and more people will want to hang
her work and buy it too!
but it will be sooo cool if she wins and we all get to go to BALI! me and erin would have a
BLAST walking around ubud, getting massages, bike riding, shopping, etc!
i can just imagine us playing in the pool and eating at the restaurant at sagitarius
im so happy at the moment because i feel like im slowly but surely finding myself and all
my friend problems are sorting themselves out. and me and Erin are so close and i really
have never had a friend quite like her. we can talk about anything. and im finding that as
i figure myself out i think any other problems with friends and guys will figure themselves
out for good. ill be a better person and ill be way more reliable. i still dont know how to
define myself and what makes me, me but i know im slowly getting there. all i know is that
i need to be around the people and things i love right now. thats why im missing melbourne
so much. because the city is where i feel so at home, where as in Byron Bay or Bangalow i
feel so out of touch and disconnected. but im not old enough to leave and fend for myself
and i wouldnt even be able to leave my parents and friends.
anyway enough with all this serious talk, what i really wanted to talk about was what
happened last night! not much for me, but i think that me and Felix are closer than we
have ever been! and i really quite like it! AND good news for Erin, Cassius asked her
out! i thought we wouldnt ever do it, but he finnaly did, she was happy but also a bit
disappointed because she thought he might make a move on her, she didnt think people even
asked other people out anymore, just made a move and then it went from there, but if you
think about it that would make it so much harder for anyone to get together, i mean what
about all the couples out there that if they hadnt asked a random girl or guy out for a
coffee one day wouldnt be as happy as they are now? it really made me think about my values
i guess. because all the guys that i have done anything with have all been pretty much
complete strangers, except for Zac but i would never be able to go out with him. just
because i'm a bitch i guess, he doesnt turn me on at all, and i would never be able to be
serious or nice with him. i always seem to be either teasing him or kissing him, not much
of the other nice or normal things that other people do before or after, like holding
hands or doing small nice things for them. im such a bitch around him and i really shouldnt
treat him like that but i guess i girl has to have fun, and i feel like the jerk for once
instead of the guy. which in a way is a nice change or scenery.